LOVE and FEAR

 

Live from love and not from fear,

if you live from a state of fear,

there will be struggle and chaos around you,

If you live from a space of love

there will be beauty and peace everywhere.

Love is the ultimate, even in dying  there will be less fear,

Fear feeds struggle and anger, and suffering for dear life,

Unable to comprehend the bounty of love that awaits

every living soul

I am

 

….pure divine light

… pure love

… perfect the way I am

… pure creative energy

… on my own personal journey

 

…

Impromptu Joy

1. Joy is often found in this place, unplanned, unrehearsed, unscripted. The biggest challenge is paying attention, remembering and being grateful for those very ordinary moments that are really magical ones, just because we were fully present in the moment.

Impromptu joy over the last week looked like this;

• going  for a short drive after getting ice cream, ending up next to a big dune, leaving the car running because we were just getting out for five minutes to see if the sand is cool enough to walk on. It turned into lots of laughs while feet are burning as we were struggling to get up to the top
• practicing phonics and while saying mmmmm, my lips were seriously being tickled by the vibration of the letter which lead to endless jokes and laughter interrupting our bedtime routine
• G getting an unexpected gymnastic lesson from an aunt on how to land when jumping. The excitement, pride and the smile on her face said it all
• Meeting up with a friend for coffee, connecting and sharing happening on a deep level, feeling understood.

Amazing Insights

 

You know what,  I am so grateful in a way for my journey with this tumor… it is really helping me to really authentically FEEL the clichés such as, ‘you have to love yourself before you can love others’, and ‘you have to forgive yourself before you can forgive others’.  It’s only now at the age of 40 and through the process of this year, that I can honestly say I finally  understand these words and what they mean.  It is such a relief to truely feel this AND the best 40th gift ever.

How can one truely love life if they can’t love themselves first and forgive themselves and others?  None of us are perfect and we all live our lives and have our personal demons.

Along with these insights comes the insight into judgement…I believe it is only through loving yourself and forgiving yourself that you can honestly say you don't judge others.  Not judging doesn't mean we have to agree, it simply means we can acknowledge somebody else's viewpoints without having to take them on. If we gossip, we are judging others, without understanding or respecting their personal life journey, their difficult roads, etc. 

I watched a movie called ‘The lunchbox’ last night. It had such a meaningful quote in it for me, sometimes people catch the wrong train, but it can transport you to the right places.  Which brings another insight into the lime light – there are no wrongs or rights.  I am just so grateful that I can now after all these years love myself and see how I have been so damned hard on myself!!!…Its only taken 40 years!!!!  Let the healing begin.

Personal Mantras Etched in Silver

In the silver jewelry workshop I made a ring with my words that just popped into my head at the time, words that I can hang onto when feeling low and words that I can aspire to when feeling good. I didn't add spaces as I just wanted it to look like lots of letters scattered on the ring:

" BREATHEJOYLOVEBE 

  WHOLEHEATEDLETGO

  CREATEBRAVEWOW  "

The words on the ring has now become my personal mantras.

• BREATHE - mindfulness has been a big life changer, the easiest way to get there is through     my breath
• JOY - always look for it, it's never far away, most often to be found in the simple moments
• LOVE - feel the love, let the love flow, it's all about love
• BE - in the moment, in the now, it's all there is
• WHOLEHEARTED - far from perfect, being vulnerable, open
• LET GO - let go of expectations and the story surrounding it
• CREATE - I need to create, it opens me up, it brings me immense energy and joy
• BRAVE - receiving and giving love requires vulnerability, which requires courage, it's totally worth it
• WOW - choose to focus on the positives (Wow!) instead of the negatives (Ow!)

The ring is far from perfect but has such huge sentimental value to me. I love wearing it.

Baby Animals

 

There's nothing like a baby animal to boost your spirits and warm your heart, unless you dislike animals, which I can’t understand.

On our 3 day holiday/break in Napier we visited a goat farm with plus/minus 30 baby goats ranging from 2 weeks to 3 months age.

The delight on Julia's face just being with these was enough to warm my heart for another month at least.

Quirky Eccentric Artists

 

We are slowly building up our collection of art. I love how artists inspire others with their quirky ideas and recycling of such materials as door knobs, spark plugs etc. This guy is called sparky because he has a spark plug at the end of his body.  Sparky is sitting on our coffee table peering out at us and enjoying the fire when it’s cold.